Family Relationships

Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

Childhood

I believe my parents did the best they could raising nine children even though I have scars from my upbringing. My mother was a stay-at-home mom for most of my childhood. My mom sewed our clothes, baked homemade bread, canned our food, and played piano, those were some of the positive things. The negative side of her was that she suffered from bi-polar disorder, something that my dad did not understand when it came to her highs and lows. She cried, yelled, verbally abused, and shot us down with guilt trips, but that's how she was raised. 

My dad worked long hours at Nuclear Power Plants which meant that wherever there was an outage, we moved to that location. I moved as much as a military brat from what I've been told. When he would come home, my mom used him as a punching bag, literally (from what he said) but I mean this as she griped the second he walked through the door until he went to bed. My oldest brother saw the wrong side of my dad's frustrations and took a beating, the rest of us were only spanked with a belt. The positive side was that he always apologized when he knew he was in the wrong.

The positive side of my upbringing was taking family vacations, like Niagara Falls. We always went to West Virginia to visit our maternal and paternal grandparents. The only positive part of those trips was spending time with my maternal grandfather.

My parents divorced when I was 13. They are both re-married.

Today

I would describe my family dynamic with my extended family as distant. I live close to three siblings but we never see each other, which is sad. My mom lives 5 hours from me and I only get a chance to see her (and my siblings) when she comes to visit. The same with my Dad. I only see him when he's in town and then he'll either come to us (usually with goodies in tow) or invite us to his house. (I'm feeling like my parents are going to look over my shoulder any minute and scold me for what I'm writing). My Dad sends everyone of his children and grandchildren, cards with money for birthdays, anniversary's, and Christmas. My mom takes her children and grandchildren out for their birthdays or Christmas, when she's in town.

I would describe my immediate family as close knit. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have been through our own trials. I never thought I would make it this long because I thought that every disagreement meant that it would lead to a divorce. We have three children; Brayden, 13, Leya, 12, and Monet, 10. They are truly amazing. I have tried to keep them in the same vicinity so they do not have to be the "new kid" at school every year and so they could have close friends to grow up with. Our son wants to join the ROTC in high school next year. He is making straight A's and is in all advanced classes, holds a leadership calling at church, and is planning to serve a two-year mission for our church. Our daughter Leya is also very smart. She is an A/B student, loves to sing, dreams of riding a horse or owning her own, and can't wait to be 16 so she can date! Monet is also an A/B student. She is the leader in school and is the one her teacher sends new kids to so they can feel welcome. She has a gift with animals.

My husband and I are both in school full time through Ashford University. He works outside of the house full-time, while I work in the house as a mom full-time. We are a very close and a happy family. We have our church, Heavenly Father, and trials we have faced, to thank for getting this far.